Apocalytic Crochet

I often joke about how, if the apocalypse happens, crochet is the one useful skill that will allow me to stay in one of the tribes/gangs that will likely form as chaos reigns. 

People have to stay clothed and warm, right? So as long as there’s a JoAnn’s or Micheal’s to loot, things should be pretty dandy for my family. 

I also make pretty sweet photo books online, in case the apocalypse (or my post-apocalyptic group of people I’m recruited into) requires an official historian. 

What else? What else? 

Is that it? 

Perhaps. But I feel pretty confident with those two things. 

It feels like I’ve been working on this blanket forever. It’s not even a slow pattern- I’m just being slow.

Sure, I will very much depend on others for everything. Like food. I am a pretty miserable cook for the most part and I’m terrible at trying to figure out the ripeness of an avocado. 

And I’ll definitely look to others to help carry my things when we decide it’s time to pick up and move elsewhere. My back isn’t what it used to be and I’ve never been known to travel light. 

I have no sense of direction, nor am I good at remembering how to get anywhere without a GPS, so once all the phone batteries are dead, I’m not going to be a great guide. 

To be fair, even with the GPS I’m mediocre at best. 

But like I said earlier, I’m sure the fiber arts will save me from being totally abandoned by everyone else. 

Heading up north for a hunting trip? Let me just make you an oversized wool blanket for your journey (the weight of it also provides a calming effect). 

Heading south for the winter? Here’s a nice double crochet wrap- a perfect loose stitch for a cool summer night by the campfire. 

Looking to create some camaraderie with the troops? Matching crocheted head and wrist bands in your tribe colors! 

Expecting a baby but all of the baby stores have been raided and burned down? Custom knitted blankets and pillowcases by yours truly!

Now I just have to learn how to spin my own yarn for when all the craft stores are emptied and destroyed… 

What will your post apocalyptic skill be? 

-Amy

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